What Every Parent Needs to Know About Sexual Abuse
What is Sexual Abuse~
Sexual Abuse may include sexual touching, indecent exposure, use of children in or showing them pornographic films or pictures, encouraging or forcing others to witness sexual acts or engage in prostitution. Sex offenders can come from any social, racial, or religious background and may be will-respected members of a community. Children are more likely to be sexually abused by someone they know, including relatives and family friends, than by a stranger. Being abused by someone you trust is confusing, sad and scary, but help, healing and hope are possible.
How Does Abuse Occur?~
Targeting Children
An abuser may target children of a particular age or gender. They can appear kind, concerned and caring in order to gain access, build trust and develop a friendship either in-person or online. Caution: the Internet gives perpetrators infinite access to potential victims.
Grooming Children
Abusers chat online with their targets, pretend to share similar interests as the child, or treat the child to fun activities to establish trust. This is called grooming. The abuser may seem to be a safe and reassuring figure. he may also convince himself that he is doing no harm to children.
Keeping Secrets
In order to keep the abuse secret, the offender will use the child's natural fear, embarrassment or guilt about what is happening. Sometimes children keep secrets because they feel like they do not have a safe person to tell, the fear not being believed, or the abuser threatened them, their parents or pets.
What are the Physical and Behavioral Signs?~Children who are too frightened to talk about abuse may exhibit a variety of physical, emotional and behavioral warning signs.
**Any of These Signs Are Significant:
Changes in Behavior such as withdrawal, crying without provocation, fearfulness, overly compliant behavior, or increased aggressiveness.
Regression to More Infantile Behavior such as bed wetting, thumb sucking, excessive crying, whining, or engaging in baby talk.
Physical Symptoms such as swollen, itching, painful or bleeding genitals, vaginal discharge, or sexually transmitted disease.
Fear of a Person or an intense dislike at being left alone with this person.
Changes in Appetite or loss of appetite, or overeating and using comfort foods.
Unusual Interest in or Knowledge of sexual matters, expressing affection in ways inappropriate for a child that age.
Sleep Disorders such as recurrent nightmares, disturbed sleep patterns, or fear of the dark.
Other Behavioral Signals such as anger, aggression, disruptive behavior, running away or delinquent behavior, mood swings, sudden decline in academic performance.
Action Steps~What To Do if a Child Tells You About Sexual Abuse
Believe the Child and commend him/her for telling you about the experience. Children rarely fabricate allegations of sexual abuse and it takes great courage to tell.
Convey Your Support and Assure the Child that it is not their fault and nothing will change your love for them.
Temper Your Own Reaction and recognize that your perspective, your body language and your actions are critical signals to the child. Your greatest challenge may be to suppress your horror and anger about the abuse.
Trust Local Authorities and report suspected abuse to police or child protection services. Do not press your child for specifics. Detailed questioning is best conducted by trained professionals.
Search for Trained Professionals who can recognize and respond specifically to sexual abuse, including physicians, forensic examiners, investigators, advocates and counselors.
Talk With Other Parents to ascertain whether there are unusual behaviors or symptoms occurring with their children.
Seek Support and Do Not Blame Yourself. You are not in this alone. Professional advocates are here to help. They will guide you through the process, inform you of your options, support you choices, and make educated referrals.
Take Action. Your child deserved it and you may help protect countless other children as well. Sexual abuse is a community concern that requires courageous individuals willing to raise awareness and create change.
Safety Steps~Children are taught how to cross the street. Children are taught not to play with matches. Precautions about sexual abuse should be included in these safety talks.
**Safety Rules Start as Early as Age Two
Talk to Your Child daily and take time to listen and really know them. Encourage him/her to share their joys, concerns, fears and hopes.
Develop a Trusting and Loving Relationship so your child understand that they can always speak openly to you and that you will believe them.
Teach Your Child a Basic Vocabulary for parts of the body.
Explain Difference Between 'Public' and 'Private' parts of the body. Private parts are areas of the body covered by a swimming suit and should only be seen or touched by parents needing to keep him/her clean when the child is too young to clean themselves, or a doctor in a clinic who needs to keep them healthy.
Practice with Your Child and teach them to firmly say "NO!", to run away and tell a trusted adult (and keep telling until someone helps them).
Investigate the Reputation and Hiring Policies of your day care center, after-school programs, civic groups, and religious or educational classes.
Be Cautious and Choosy about babysitters, neighbors, friend, and romantic partners.
Invite Experts to Give Safety Presentations to various community groups you belong to.
Encourage Your School Board to Implement sexual abuse prevention and intervention programs.